Thursday, April 12, 2018

Things I've been told on "dating" apps



The sex life of my belt's buckle is as frustrating as mine. It also sees many holes everyday but goes in the same again and again! 

Cocktails are on me tonight, then I'm going to let my animal instincts take over and make mad, passionate love to you

Twinkle twinkle little star, Let's have sex inside my car.

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.

Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.

You got the three things that I want in a woman, Big nips hips and lips.


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