So this is how I broke up with my boyfriend:

1.  I went to Victoria's Secret and bought the sexiest underwear I could possibly find.

2.  I went to his house and gave him a strip tease; he got hard right away.

3.  I started rubbing his cock through his pants suggesting with my actions that I was about to fuck him.

4.  I slowly unzip his pants in the sexiest way possible.

5.  I lick his long dick from his balls to the tip as slowly as possible.

6.  He likes when I touch his asshole.  I take a folded note out of my pocket that says “We’re over on it” and stick it in his buttcrack.

7.  I get up, put my clothes back on, and leave.

8.  He calls me moments later telling me that he read my note and that I’m a “fucking bitch!”

Yes, yes, I know. :]