This post is a step-by-step guide to a masturbation session. In the time I’ve been on this blog I talked to a some girls who have had orgasms, but twice as many who have not. And several of the people I talked to who did experience an orgasm, did so with a partner.
I’m not saying you should follow this guideline, because it is only that. A guideline. It’s not a recipe where you have to weigh off every ounce, where you have to use a timer to check on when your pie is ready. No, they’re only tips to help you get started and have a booming sex life even as a single.
Before you start, however: Don’t do anything that doesn’t feel good.
It’s a cliché, but it’s true. Sometimes, you’ll just not be into it and that’s okay. Don’t force yourself to masturbate when you aren’t feeling it, even if you are on your own. It can still feel bad afterwards if you do push yourself. Don’t force yourself to push in a finger when it doesn’t feel nice, or when it hurts.
Now, on to the masturbatory cheat sheet (no it’s not that, you’ll still have to do this yourself and you’ll have to experiment and practice before you know exactly what is a turn-on for you, and what is a turn-off).

#1a  - Foreplay (emotional)
Yeah, it’s important. Surprisingly so, even. If you want a good experience, try to get yourself in the mood before you start. You can fantasize about hot guys or girls and what you’d like to do to them. Dig up a picture of your favorite actor or singer and think about what you’d like to do to him (or her, of course). You can also watch a scene from a movie that got you hot and bothered, or porn videos if that’s what gets you going. If you liked Fifty Shades of Grey, I hope you own a copy, and if you like fan fiction—you can get off sitting up as well. Lying down with a tablet of phone works too, but it might take some maneuvering and practice!

#1b – Foreplay (physical)
Some girls like to start with this right away and others need to feel turned on before they start touching themselves, which is why I split up the two.
But yes, touch is important. Stroke yourself over your clothes as you fantasize (or read/watch/etc.) about sexy things. Thighs are classic erogenous zones, as well as necks and breasts, but really just touch wherever it feels good. It doesn’t matter if it’s weird or not, people are weird as a species. Our sexual preferences can be weird (people marry walls, it’s not shameful to enjoy getting the sole of your foot stroked or your armpits tickled).
I can’t tell you when it’s time to move onto the next step, but if your hips start to make little humping movements, consciously or not, I’d say you’re definitely ready for it.

#2 – Tease yourself
You might be itching to touch yourself, or still be feeling meh about that. In my experience, it kind of depends on your mood. Since you’re a woman, it might be difficult to judge how aroused you are. Yeah, I know that sounds weird but not every woman notices her arousal. Hell, I’m aware of what mine feels like and sometimes I go to the toilet and find that I was aroused without knowing.
In any case, once you get yourself naked (or once you get your hand down your choice undergarment), tease yourself.
If you are unshaven, try pulling at the hairs and if you’re shaven, revel in how slick you might very well feel by now. Drag your fingers between your outer and inner lips, dip your finger between your inner labia to feel how wet you are and wriggle it around a little without sliding it in, try pulling at either the outer or inner labia. Shove your hand under your shirt and cup your bare breast or pinch your nipple.
Another nice thing to do is to rub at the vestibule. A lot of women like getting touched in this place even though it will likely not stimulate you enough to get off.
The possibilities are endless. The thing I’m trying to say here is: take it slooow. Tease yourself before going to the prize, because it will make everything so much better. I promise. Women don’t get off in two minutes the way guys do; the average time it takes for a female to reach orgasm, is twenty minutes.
And while you’re at it: are you still thinking about that hot guy you saw in the supermarket, or the girl who smiled at you at school? Are you still fantasizing about Misha Collins between your legs? Is your tablet or computer still on or did the screensaver start? Because fantasizing remains important during the time you are masturbating, especially as you are a woman. The brain is a sex organ, too, and it’s pretty fucking powerful.
There are also some other things you can do to get turned on. Try tasting yourself, for example. It can be hot. Stretching or curling up your legs might feel great, or swirling your hips around when you’re sitting in a chair.

#3 Masturbation
So you think you’re ready? You’re gasping for more, desperate to go and get it?
First of all, make sure that you’re comfortable. By that I mean, lock your door and turn off your phone and IM. Then find a position that feels good for you. Try different things. Do you like to be sitting up at your computer? Do you like to be lying down on your back, on your side, or your stomach?
You can also choose to either stay dressed or get naked: both have their perks and downsides. If you’re not comfortable with your body, I’d say that staying dressed is probably the safest option. If you feel like you need to be touched, getting naked under your blankets is a good option.
Make sure you have some tissues or a towel with you—female masturbation can get pretty messy as well (don’t worry, that just means you’re a healthy woman!).
Clitoral stimulation
Most women get off on clitoral stimulation. In other words, by rubbing at their clit. Contrary to what you usually see in porn movies, not everyone enjoys rapid action.
You can best start out using slow repetitive movements—whether it be circles, back and forth or up and down movements. Women don’t thrive on irregularities, not down here, unless you’d like to tease yourself some more.
Dry fingers can be painful so use some of your own slick, lube, or some kind of non-perfumed oil or salve. You can use your saliva, but I will advise you not to because saliva can throw off your vagina’s Ph balance and get you stuck with a yeast infection.
Usually, one side of your clit will feel better than the other—use this knowledge to your advantage: rub against the less sensitive side for a drawn-out session and against the sensitive side for a quickie.
Your clitoris might be too sensitive for direct stimulation, too. In that case, try stroking yourself through a thin pair of panties. You can also use the little excess skin above your clit instead—press onto it and try to make the repetitive movements like that. You will likely have to exert a little more pressure than with direct stimulation, but that doesn’t matter.
Hell, try moving your hand up a little—the clitoris gets hard, just like a penis (though it’s far more sensitive). It is bigger than you might think when you look at yourself in a mirror or in pictures of sex organs on the outside. You’re able to feel it through your skin if you press, and if you wriggle your finger—let’s just say it feels great.
Once you’re good with this kind of touch, you can speed up (usually this happens unconsciously, but like I said before, it can be pretty difficult to be aware of how aroused you are). That might make you moan a little, so it’s nice if you’re alone or if you have something to muffle your noises with.
Penetrative stimulation
Clitoral and penetrative stimulation are, of course, not mutually exclusive. You might be going at it for a while and suddenly feel ‘empty’. By that time, you’re likely relaxed and wet enough to slide in a finger or two.
If you do really enjoy penetrative stimulation, you could try to find your g-spot. It is located a couple of inches up your vagina (this is an approximation) on the side of your stomach (e.g. push your fingers towards the ceiling if you’re lying on your back and towards the floor when you’re on your stomach). When you’re turned on it might be a little swollen but the most important indicator is that it feels a little rough, similar to the roof of your mouth.
It might feel awesome for you, but it might also do nothing for you. I do have places in my vagina that are either more, or less stimulating, but the g-spot isn’t one of them. Again, you’ll have to explore your own body!
Using only your fingers, there are plenty of things you can do: slide them in and out, move them back and forth or slide them alongside each other. Scissor them apart or squeeze your muscles around them.
The most important thing is that everything is slick. When you’re young, you are generally able to get wet enough to take in a dick, so a few fingers shouldn’t be a problem. If you’re not wet enough, you have either not done enough in the foreplay section, or you could look into using an artificial lubricant.
With some practice, you should be able to use both hands at the same time—it’s likely easier to use your weak hand for the penetration and your strong hand for the clitoral stimulation as it is a more coordinated movement.

Orgasm
You basically have all the ingredients to an orgasm in all the information up above.
It’s okay if you don’t come the first or second (etc.) time that you masturbate. Masturbation isn’t only enjoyable because of a possible orgasm; it’s not the means to an awesome end but should be pleasurable on its own.
Every woman is different, and for some of us it’ll be difficult to get off. Keep in  mind that it is not impossible, unless there is a pre-existing medical condition, or you are using certain medicine.
If you do come, what will happen is that you’ll feel a tension build in your muscles, especially in your vagina. It might be a little scary, actually, as it progresses, because it is like nothing you have felt before—I can promise you that much.
Keep breathing through the feeling of getting more and more tense, you might feel a gagging sensation if you don’t. Moan if you can, because making noises will make it feel better. Once you start to come, and you’ll know when you do, you might feel too sensitive to keep touching yourself. That’s okay, please stop. You can, however, also rub or finger-fuck yourself through it, which will result in a more intense and drawn-out orgasm.

Aftermath
Take it slow. Revel in the joy of your orgasm or masturbation session. You’re probably more relaxed now than you’ve been in a while.
And, you know, women don’t have a refractory time the way men do so if you’re up for it, you can always go for a round 2.