Tips for guys on Tinder

-if you’re a hetero guy looking for girls… do not post pics with girls. Trust me on this. (I do not know the rules for nonhetero dudes in pictures with dudes)

-limit your group/friend pic to one. If all your pics are the same five guys I don’t know who you are. This is a case where the ‘cheerleader effect’ isn’t a good one.

-limit pictures of you in sunglasses to one. I’m not gonna swipe on you if I don’t know what you look like.

-don’t post pics of you smoking. Studies show you’ll get 60-90% less matches.

-Stop taking pictures of your face from your lap. No one looks good like that.

-exfoliate and moisturize your lips once in a century. No one wants to make out with flaky crusty lips. Also brush and trim the beard. And eyebrow(s).

-“I pick up heavy things and then put them down” and “cuddling champion” are not good descriptions of you. You must have actual hobbies and things you like, right? Things you’re passionate about?

-yeah I get it you’ll buy the pizza/chicken nuggets/guacamole. You and literally every guy on tinder. That means nothing to me anymore.

-be specific- are you looking for friends, casual hookups or a relationship? It’s ok to advertise that.

-strings of emojis are not a description. And they’re annoying. Stop it.

-smile in at least one of your pictures. If you look broody in the same angle in each of them you look like a sociopath.

-have actual conversation before trying to broach the topic of sex, especially if your description doesn’t say you’re looking only for hookups. If possible wait to be in person, and be more like “where do you see this going tonight?” Than “AY GURL SUCK DIS DIIIIIIIICK?!”

-don’t tell me you’re a Dom if you’re only gonna reference 50 Shades. I can snap you in half and ruin your life.

-remember: if you’re matching with someone it’s because they also already decided they like or are interested in you. They’re probably nervous too. Say Hi, have a fun conversation, invite them out for drinks or coffee if you think it’s appropriate. They already think you’re cute. Be chill and nice and it’s easy peasy from there. Promise. People have been dating for literally centuries.